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How Young Expat Children Pick Up The Language Speekee
Do's and don'ts
Don't talk politics or religion anywhere. (this includes the UK!)
Do smile. (even when the official is demanding a bribe)
Never loose your temper. (it only encourages them to assume you speak their lingo.)
Only resort to speaking their language as a last resort (Remember that you're British!)
Never speak French to a Frenchman. (he's bound to give up and speak English eventually (10 - 20 years?)
When overseas, always support Manchester United , ( never mention Liverpool, even if you're from there, only people within a 25 mile radius has ever heard of them - and half of those support Everton.)
When out and about with friends, never assume that no-one speaks English (even in bush bars). Don't comment an a foreigners physical attributes (!?) or dress sense, within earshot of them, you could come embarrassingly unstuck.
Try speaking in English.
Try shouting in English.
If this fails, you have obviously found a linguistically challenged foreigner. Try the following:
Find someone that speaks English and the local lingo.
Draw a diagram / show a sample (I always carry a pen and notepad). (Since I wrote this, someone invented the smart phone, take /show a picture)
Last and final option:
Become an instant linguist, using our expertly selected general purpose vocabulary.
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